Tuesday, 13 November 2012

The Post About Hubby

Everyone knows that there is no such thing as the absolute perfect marriage. Each individual has his or her own quirks that drives the other crazy. At the end of the day, what makes a marriage tick is the support you can provide the other. There are many people who have been there to support me through the past several months and I'm truly grateful. But, I wouldn't have made it this far without my husband. He's the rock I can depend on when I'm down and ready to call it quits. He wants to see me happy again and I believe he is willing to do what it takes to make it happen. Everything to do with Clara, he's been supportive. He lets me talk about her as much as I want and he continues the nightly "Clara ritual" with me. I love that we are able to incorporate her in our daily lives.

He grieves a lot differently than I have so far but it's nice to know that he thinks about her a lot too. At first, I wasn't able to grasp that in order to get through the first few months after our loss, he had to keep his mind busy. I now understand and have given myself permission to do the same. Grieving as much as I did previously is draining, unsustainable and really pushed the boundaries of my mental health. At the same time, I needed to do what felt right for me at the time. Little baby steps. Irregardless, I now understand hubby's grieving and that helps me digest his reactions over the months.

My hope is that our luck turns around and that one day that we can make the switch from recovery mode to living our lives again. One day at a time ....

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