Thursday, 5 July 2012

My Reality

I think reality is starting to sink in. This weekend I went out for dinner with some good friends. At dinner, we saw a little baby girl with the same stroller we had bought for Clara (or was it for me?). I wasn't so upset about the baby girl but more about the stroller. The one I would have pushed Clara in. Alas, I never will. There are many more hopes and dreams that will go unfulfilled with her death. She's not here with me and she will never be. Reality is a tough pill to swallow.

Yesterday was a tough day, I thought if I grieved hard enough somehow the universe will return her to me. It sounds stupid but grief is irrational as is her death. It's still hard to imagine my life without her and not think of all the things that could have been. All the happiness she would have brought to my life ... It's all gone. The future that will never be.

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