Wednesday, 29 August 2012

The Eve Before the EDD

August 30th - Clara's EDD. It's tomorrow. The past few months, I've been looking at this date with much anxiety and fear. How will I feel? How will I cope? I must admit the days leading up to the EDD have been difficult, the tears are coming much more easily this week than the week prior. For now, I'm feeling a sense of calm. Perhaps fear of the day is worse than the day itself. I hope so.

Scott has taken the day off work, I'm not sure why I asked him to but it just felt like what I needed at the time. I haven't decided what we are going to do but perhaps I'll just see where the day takes us. Whatever comes our way, it will be a way to remember our little girl.

The last few weeks, I have been looking for different ways to connect with Clara to replace some of the good ol' crying spells. I have the small rituals at the cemetery and I have discovered the world of BLM blogging. Lately, I've been going for long walks with my new Clara playlist that I've compiled. I've found a good mix of songs that remind me of her or expresses my feelings for her. I suppose it's the best version of Mommy/Daughter time I'm going to get. Below is a YouTube link to one of my favourites, Gone Too Soon by Daughtry. Clara, not a day goes by that I don't think of you. 

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